When we think of love, especially on Valentine’s Day, we think of romantic love. Romantic love is great and we all want it! It’s necessary to keep the species going and so it is hard-wired into us.
Dr. Helen Fisher, a top biological anthropologist, says romantic love is “one of the most addictive substances on earth”. When we fall in love our brains serve up a cocktail of feel-good chemicals and regions of the brain light up that are the same as a person feeling the high of cocaine. The problem is that we keep looking outside of ourselves to find the feeling of love and so we’re dependent upon another person or situation to create that feeling for us. Our media and entertainment world bombard us with the idea that we are not complete until that special person shows up to make us whole. That gives away our power and distracts us from the real source of love, which is within.
When we live from the place of higher love, we are able to be open to unconditional self-love which allows us to radiate out love to others. As Marci Shimoff says in her book, Love for No Reason, you “stop being a love beggar and become a love philanthropist, dispensing love, kindness and goodwill wherever you go.” When you aren’t loving to yourself you actually block the flow of love to the rest of the world and you block yourself from receiving love from others.